Meet Eli, the 3 Year-Old Boy Who Plans Traffic Patterns for SCDOT

June 14
Blythewood, SC
The South Carolina Department of Transportation announced Eli Lemans their head traffic coordinator on Social Media today. The three year-old boy was selected for the job after he displayed his mastery of traffic patterns when he managed to get two cars across one of those carpet mats in the nursery without them crashing. 

“Since South Carolina has the most roads per square mile of any state, we need as much skill as possible to design, control and perfect the traffic patterns of out great state” reported Jim McMann, a former traffic advisor for the SCDOT.

“Who else is going to build all the bike paths in Florence and forget about the crumbling bridges in Greenville and Anderson?”

At publishing times, the SCDOT announced that Eli’s entire salary would be paid in Goldfish  crackers.