Joe Biden Opens Presidential Ice Cream Parlor

May 25, 2025

Wilmington, Deleware

Former President Joe Biden was eager to open his new Presidential Ice Cream Parlor on Sunday, something the first of its kind (Actually most spectators think he was thrilled to start sniffing the bow of a nearby two-year-old girl). While most presidents start presidential libraries once they leave office, it just felt right for Biden to pursue one of his fascinations: ice cream.

“Commander in Cream” was commissioned on Sunday afternoon with Joe Biden giving a few words of dedication. 

“Dr Jill wanted me to say something to all you Lying dog-faced pony soldiers. I am so excited to open this uh, um-uh–you know the thing. C’mon man! Why do I have to talk during nappy time? Well everyone, hope you enjoy the Truandinanationaldudaprzure. “

The menu will be released to the public shortly.